BADONKADANK (4.8) -- A sample of marijuana organically grown in the bay area.

The first thing that came to mind was... "whoa, look at those monster nugs!" It's not everyday I see a bag of herb which is predominantly several-gram nugs. The inflorescence to leaf ratio left a bit to be desired. Just for fun I trimmed a nug more carefully, and it revealed a good amount of resinous flower. I took a small nug and carefully cracked the stem and inwardly smiled in anticipation of the olfactory sensation to come...

Perhaps a little background on the sample is needed. I recieved the sample from a friend who only buys marijuana that has been organically grown in the Bay Area (most likely Oakland, or "Oaksterdam". He called the strain "4.8". A silly friend named the strain "Badonkadank" and the name stuck. It certainly didn't look like allstar, but the price was right and I try to avoid snobbishness whenever possible, so I decided to give "Badonkadank" a try.

The smell was bready, with a little bit of earth mixed in. The Badonkadank was very humble herb; no majestic whirls of fruit or nuances of spice here. I imagine the breadiness and earthiness of the strain could have been magnified by growing it outdoors -- an already leafy and rugged looking strain doesn't have much to lose by being battered by the wind and rain a bit, and has so much to gain in taste and yield. Judging by the nug size, I wouldn't be surprised if the yield would have been increased many times over if grown outdoors.

I decided this herb was rolling herb, so I proceed to roll a joint with the stuff. The addition of crystals to the built in kif catcher in my grinder was paltry, showing where Badonkadank was rough around the edges.

The smoke was as expected by this point; a bit underwhelming. The bready earthly flavor all but disappeared upon smoking, probably due to hasty curing and weak genetics. The joint burned away as clean white ash, confirming it's organic origin.

The high was a mostly , a very mundane experience I am disappointed to report. No fantastical thoughts or bouquets of creativity, and no hot tub or relaxation sensation either. The high wasn't sleepy, it didn't have munchies, it was just there. I smoked a sample a second and third time some few days later and came to the same conclusion.

All in all, rather drab herb. I feel that even if the grower got the most of the herb, the strain just isn't up to par with some of the stuff you can find in Oaksterdam. If you ever come across a sample of "4.8" expect it to be as boring as it's namesake: not even a name like "Badonkadank" could save this sample.

How to connoisseur marijuana.

The Introduction

Marijuana is a complex plant with many looks, smells, tastes, and highs. In order to appreciate every single nuance a sample of cannabis has to offer, it is useful to use a systematic, formulaic approach to evaluating it. However, this guide is not an all or nothing proposition. Use this guide to deepen your appreciation of the specific traits of marijuana that you care about.

The Choice of Smoking Instruments

Before we move onwards, I would like to make a quick note of the many choices for ingesting marijuana. After trying them all, I've found the vaporizer to be the purest tasting -- it's easier to taste something when it doesn’t have a combustion or butane taste. That being said I love incredible glass, so I most often use a bong for tasting. I just make sure to change the water as often as I smoke, sometime midsession if it has gone on a long time. I also clean my bong quite often.

The Bag Appeal

First, take a good look at the bag and its contents; does it look appealing? (We will call this "bag appeal"). Observe the general shape and size of the nugs. Generally most people like bigger nugs (We used to call these "gangster nugs" in high school), although a few of my friends find small nugs more convenient for packing bowls (We shall refer to small nugs as "popcorn nugs"). I prefer a mixed bag; I love picking apart a huge nug over time to pack bowls with, but at the same time I need nugs that I don't feel guilty about grinding up. Notice whether or not the nug has a pleasing shape to it. I prefer nugs that look like they were just picked off the plant and kept intact, as opposed to nugs which were clearly colas at one point, but were butchered during trimming into smaller nugs. I've found a lot of really good club weed to be this way; it might still be great weed, but it forms an amorphous mass in the bag which does not appeal to me. And of course, if a nug is in a particularly pleasing shape, take notice. It seems silly, but it's all the little beautiful things about cannabis that add up to an unique, wonderful, and complex experience.

Take one nug and examine the texture closely. First, confirm whether or not the bud has been trimmed well. Well trimmed weed generally has a minimum of leaves (less resinous and tasty) and a maximum of flower (super pungent, potent, and pugnacious on the taste buds). However, I have seen samples in which leaves are used to add to the quality-- usually this is pot which is grown so well the water-leaves (the little leaves on nugs) are just as covered in trichromes as the flower is, and leaving a little leaf showed off the purple color of the strain. Generally, purple strains have super purple leaves, but the flowers may or may not be purple tinted.

In order to truly complete the appraisal of the appearance; you will need a weedoscope of some sort. This can be just a regular magnifying glass and a flashlight, or it could be a crazy RadioShack contraption with built in LED lights, etc. I use the kind of weedoscope that is popular for growers. They are 30x, and shaped liked a telescope, so you can just put it up next to something and examine it closely, as opposed to having to break off a sample to magnify.

Once you have your marijuana magnified, hope to see copious amount of trichromes, the things that look like little pins -- balls on the ends of stems on the weed. You can tell a fair amount about the growing history of the sample by the trichrome alone. If the majority of the trichromes are brown or amber colored, it indicates that the sample was probably harvested late. Amber colored trichromes and harvesting late have anecdotally been associated with high amount of cannabinol or CBN, a cannabinoid that helps in producing a sleepy affect when high. However, the absence of any amber trichromes and the abundance of crystal clear trichromes can indicate that the sample was harvested slightly early, and may have not reached full trichrome potential for the strain. Clear trichromes and harvesting early has anecdotally associated with high amounts of tetrahydrocannabivarin (THCV) which has been proven to intensify the affects of THC (the cerebral effects), and shorten the duration of the high. Amazing pot has maybe 10-30 percent amber trichromes, 10-30 percent cloudy trichromes, and the rest clear trichromes. This number can be fiddled with the grower. If a grower wants to emphasize the "stoney" aspects of an Indica strain, this can be achieved by harvesting slightly late. The grower could use reciprocal idea and harvest early, to make for a more cerebral daytime pot. One should keep all of these things in mind.

As you can see, there is much more to the visual stimulus good pot can create than is often appreciated by cannabis users.

The Smell

After examining the appearance, it is time to explore one of cannabis's most infamous traits, the smell. I find opening a container in which marijuana has been stored in for a few ways in one of the best ways to get a strong smell. I have seen some people grab a nug and crack it. This releases the smell, but it also just destroys the nug, so I try and avoid this technique if I can. There are many words to describe marijuana. A good list to get you started can be found in the post entitled, "Words to describe the smell and taste of cannabis" for March 2, 2008. Some strains are more pungent than others, but it it has been cured properly (that is, over a length of time) the smell will should be immediately evident. Try to relate the smell to something you have encountered before. Keep in mind it may be similar to something unconventional, like an old sock, your grandmother's house, or a circus. The more weed you smell, the more unique smells you will recognize, and you will become better at communicating exactly what you smell to others. Some of the most exciting moments out of all the strains I have evaluated were when the strain smelled exactly like its namesake. After a while you start to remember the distinct smell of Trainwreck or Soul Diesel.

The Smoking Experience

Prepare the herb for smoking in the manner you wish, whether it be rolling a huge joint with RAW papers and an accordion crutch, or packing the Frotini on your 24” RooR triple chamber. The only suggestion I have here is to be careful when handling bud, trichromes are delicate and you can end up knocking a fair amount off if you manhandle the weed.

To light the weed, I recommend either solar hits (hits done with a magnifying glass focusing light from the sun and igniting the herb), glass hits (the weed is lighted by a superheated glass rod), or a Phedor/Modified Hakko Soldering iron (Electronically heated ceramic element combusts the herb). All of these methods have one thing in common -- they do not use butane. Butane drastically alters the taste of marijuana and probably has additional adverse health effects. If you've never tried butane-less hit, I encourage you to seek it out. It really makes a significant different, and can improve the smoking experience greatly.

When I am appraising a sample of good weed, I take a rip, inhale, and then exhale with just a little smoke through the nose. Take large enough of a hit to get a good sense of the taste, but not so large that you cough; if you do, you will certainly not being paying as close attention to the taste as you would be if you mind was totally focus on the herb. Good complex weed will transform flavors; it'll be one flavor upon inhalation, and a different one upon exhalation, and yet another as an aftertaste. The taste of marijuana usually correlates at least partially with the smell, as smell and taste are such interconnected senses.

Observe what the smoking experience is like. Take note of whether or not the smoke expands in your lungs and makes it feel like a small child is sitting on your chest, or does it come out easily and playfully. Pay close attention to what the roach of the joint or the last couple hits of the bowl taste like. Most weed will taste good the first hit, only amazing weed will taste good the last it. The sample should burn away as white ash, indicating the absence of impurities from inorganic fertilizers. Weed that forms a charred black mass in the bottom of the bowl was likely fed to much inorganic fertilizer to promote growth and not flushed properly.

The High

Finally, ask yourself what the high is like. A list of words to describe types of high can be found in the post titled, "Words to describe the high of a sample of cannabis" post on March 2, 2008. Always keep in mind that the mental state you are in when you get high strongly affects the high you feel. If you are tired, for example, you are going to feel sleepy when high no matter how the pure the sativa. Note intensity and duration of the high. Especially make a note of the come down; with bad pot I feel more of a crash and a lot of fatigue, but with good pot the high just drifts away ephemerally without you noticing it do so.

The Conclusion

The number of things you can pay attention to in a sample of pot is numerous. Depending on how much you like weed, used as many or as few of these techniques as you like. Most importantly, even if the weed was not grown to its full potential, try to appreciate the aspects the grower got right.

Words to describe the high of a sample of cannabis.

These are words to describe the type of high you are feeling.
Alert
Body stone
Narcotic
Cerebral
Creative
Cheerful
Lucid
Couch lock
Energetic
Euphoric
Evenly mixed body-head high
Giggle
Content
Lethargic
Calming
Munchies
Body relaxing
Psychedelic
Sleepy
Social
Stoney
Uplifting
Visual
Playful

Words to describe the smell and taste of cannabis.

Here is a list of words to describe the taste and smell of marijuana. This list is meant to guide and focus your thoughts, not to be a substitute for them. Many smell and tastes of marijuana are a combination of the below flavors, or even flavors that are difficult to describe with other adjectives.

Sweet
Fruity
Berry
Blueberry
Blackberry
Raspberry
Strawberry
Citrus
Orange
Lemon
Tangerine
Lime
Grapefruit
Apple
Mango
Grape
Cherry
Pineapple
Fig
Pear
Banana
Fruit Salad
Floral
Perfume
Rose
Lilac
Lavender
Minty
Spearmint
Peppermint
Menthol
Vanilla
Bubblegum
Chocolate
Honey
Anise
Candy
Spicy
Woody
Incense
Hardwood
Sage
Juniper
Cedar
Pine
Redwood
Seasonings
Basil
Garlic
Dill
Clove
Parsley
Pepper
Musky
Plant matter
Hay
Leaves
Trees
Animal
Rodent
Gamey
Skunky
Tobbacco
Earthy
Loam-moist
Dirt-mixed
Musty-stale
Dusty-dry
Chemical
Astringent
Cleaners
Laundry
Ammonia
Urine
Vinegar
Metallic
Paints
Solvents
Fuels

WHITE WIDOW X KUSH -- A sample grown indoors organically from the Bay Area.

When I first received this weed I paid a premium price and I was expecting what the guy usually delivers, the best pot I can get (sans club weed) for 50 miles. It was always expensive, but always worth it. I started with high hopes as soon as he uttered the name, "White Widow crossed with Kush". Talk about a strain with big shoes to fill. When I acquired this weed I almost though I had been scammed -- it looked fairly dense, but nothing special resin wise. On top of that, the nugs weren't "popcorn nugs", but they were like popcorn, just about the same size shape, making for a very low bag appeal.

When I opened the bag, I was not greeted by a cacophony of exotic and familiar smells. Indeed, there was almost no smell at all.

All of this added up to a fair amount of bias against the strain so far as I crumbled a nug to pieces in my fingers whilst tapping the ash out of my bowl. My fingers told me it was as least as dense as it looked, and it was very sticky, sticky enough to make it difficult to operate Bic with the safety still on it.

I love a whopping taste and smell, I think it's what separates good pot from incredible marijuana. This example of White Widow x Kush had a very subtle smell, almost nonexistent. The smell that is there is the smell of classic good pot, sweet, with a minimum of "plant matter" smell.

So far okay, but how about the high? Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Pure euphoria without fatigue, or mental incapacitation, or extreme drowsiness. I was skeptical about this herb until I got to experience marijuana enlightenment. I continue use this weed as my casual get-high. Bom Shiva.

LAVENDER - A sample grown indoors organically in Oakland, California.

As I pop the metal latch on the jar, the scent hits me straight away. I peel the lid's rubber seal away from the body of the jar, and there is an explosion of smell in from of me -- skunky sweet transforming into grape skins in the nose.

The nugs are small, and the bulk of it is fluffy. This sample, obtained from the same source as the Durga mata, was clearly grown in the same fashion, perhaps the same room. This sample contrasted to the Lavender I had a few weeks ago, in which the trimmers were instructed to let the water leaves remain: besides being almost as resinous as the flowers, the leaves showed off the purple marvelously (and added a bit of weight no doubt). This new Lavender was pure flower, only very very faintly showing any purple. The soft, crispy flowers felt sticky as I rubbed them apart in my fingers in preparation to back a bowl.

A deep slow milk was deceptively soothing on the inhale. The smoke expanded in my lungs perhaps enough for a rough time on my alveoli, but the exhale was smooth and grapey sweet. I feel if the grower had truly gotten the most out of the strain, the sour-grape nuance would have permeated all aspects of the plant, as in other samples of Lavender I have had from different growers.

The high was stoney and lethargic, perhaps even narcotic or trippy if you got a little carried away. The high was nothing to write home about if you have smoked a good amount of good weed, but more than sufficient for a great time.

NORTHERN LIGHTS X BIG BUD - A sample grown organically outdoors in Mendocino County

He tossed the bag on my lap and I could already see something I liked -- giant fucking nugs, or gangster nugs, as we used to call em back home. The buds looked exceedingly pampered for an outdoor crop, most of the outdoor I encounter is a good deal more scraggly.

I cracked a 4 gram nug in half to glean more information. A decently pungent smell subtly tickled my nose, and I was instantly transported back home, to dirt, to forest, to rotting plant material. The smell was earthy, even a little grassy. Not grassy like not-cured-well grassy, grassy like grassy hops in an amazing India Pale Ale. I was reminded of Hot Rod Rye and Stone IPA.

I spotted a white spot inside the bud, and prepared myself for the disappointment of mold. However, upon closer inspection I noticed a small spider web inside the nug; a testament to the true organic nature of outdoor growing. The inside of the nug revealed what the wind and water that pummeled the plant outdoors had hidden, decent amounts of resin. This was commercial weed, but done well. All of the nugs in the bag were between 2-5 grams, and beautifully shaped.

The fairly dense herb took a couple of hard twists of the grinder before it gave in. The smoking experience was much like a 2 or 3 dollar cigar, very earthy, and not much more. With a strain like Northern Lights x Big Bud, the taste and smell take a backseat to the large and fast production of the humongous nugs, so I wasn't expecting to much in terms of complexity.

A couple of bowls later, I realized that I was decently stoned. The high had lots in terms of body, but not as much in terms of head. It was like being immersed in a hot tub. I looked at the rain outside, threw in a Wonder Showzen DVD, and prepared for a long night in...